'This decision effects our entire family': Wife agrees to be a surrogate for strangers, risking her marriage and family life for $50k+

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  • 01
    "Ironically this all had to transpire on Mother's Day..."
    via canva
  • 02
    My wife has applied to be a surrogate without my knowledge. My wife (31F) walks up to me (35M) this morning and proceeds to tell me she applied and was approved to be a surrogate
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    mother. We have been married for 2 years, together 7, have two kids of our own and have been trying for a third. She's a stay at home mom, I provide for the family. I'm clearly agitated by the situation.
    via stinkypinky88
  • 04
    I'm not yelling and screaming mad but I'm upset. This decision effects our entire family. Not only have we been trying for our own baby, but this is going to be hard on our family, on our relationship, on her body, her mental and emotional health. I've expressed
    via stinkypinky88
  • 05
    all of this to her and all she can come up with is that it's a selfless act to help another family, which I understand it helps another family. But at what cost? Her marriage? Her kids? I can't stop what I'm doing to take care of her
    via stinkypinky88
  • 06
    when she's pregnant especially if it's not my kid. I don't need or want the money she would be paid for carrying the child as we are well off because of what I provide. So please Reddit tell me how I'm the
    via stinkypinky88
  • 07
    I probably won't have an update for a while. Ironically this all had to transpire on Mothersday so she is currently out with her mother for the next few hours and when she gets home I'm going to try to do something special for her with our kids. You know, because Mother's Day and ...
    via stinkypinky88
  • 08
    Purpull 22h ago I have a family member who did this for money after her two easy pregnancies. The surrogate pregnancy ended in placenta previa, hysterectomy, major blood loss.. anyway I hope she gives this a lot more thought! Pregnancy can be dangerous.
    via Purpull
  • 09
    Effective_while_8487 • 1d ago NTA, wow. Yes, this is a joint decision for all the reasons you stated. It might be irreconcilable, did she explain why she needs to do this so badly?
    via Effective_while_8487
  • 10
    stinkypinky88 OP replied to Effective_while_8487 23 hr. ago Her answer was something along the lines of she's trying to help people that can't conceive on their own. I rebutted that with adoption should be the option with all the kids in the world that don't have families.
    via stinkypinky88
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    Ok_Sta... 23h ago Edited 23h ago Is she one of the women who enjoy being pregnant? I've heard they exist. I don't get it at all. Either way, not something you spring on your spouse. NTA
    via Ok_Sta
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    Throwra 504guy ⚫ 23h ago That's crazy, she is the here for sure. You two are trying to get pregnant in your own then she decides to carry someone else's baby? And surely expects you to carry the extra stuff that goes with supporting a pregnant woman. Who does that???
    via Throwra 504guy
  • 13
    DeepFu... 23h ago Edited 21h ago NTA. While it's her body, her choice will impact your family. She is being selfish not taking that into consideration. Yes it's nice she wants to help others but she's relying on you to do that and that's not right if it wasn't discussed.
    via DeepFu
  • 14
    If you are not ok with it and you think it will impact the marriage tell her it needs to be discussed. If we don't come to an agreement you are not sure if the marriage to survive.
    via DeepFu
  • 15
    Heavy-Quail-7295 • 23h ago NTA. She's married...choices are no longer me me me. I'd simply explain you are not OK with her doing this, pregnancy isn't something that only affects her, and you won't be sticking around to help her through a pregnancy for someone else. Good luck affording all that.
    via Heavy-Quail-7295
  • 16
    00 Fried Oyster Cults • 23h ago Is she just lying and actually is already pregnant through an affair? NTA All in all pretty weird for this to come out of the blue
    via FriedOysterCults
  • 17
    BlueGreen 1956 23h ago NTA You wife is the . I would make it very clear that she's on her own. You will not be catering to her in any way while she's pregnant. It's hers to handle all on her own.
    via BlueGreen
  • 18
    LouieAvalon Mac 23h ago NTA at all . Tell her if she decides to do surrogacy she'll be doing it as a single mom You'll be divorcing and looking to split custody No negotiations- if she pushes through with this she's on her own
    via LouieAvalon
  • 19
    houseonpost • 23h ago NTA but she seems bored. Time for her to get a part time job helping people.
    via houseonpost

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